Tag Archives: funny

I don’t make jokes …

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~¬†Will Rogers Advertisements

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Doing a job right …

Doing a job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong fourteen times gives you job security. ~ Stephen Hawking

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A day …

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. ~ Steve Martin

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Don’t knock the weather …

Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while. ~ Kin Hubbard

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When my cats aren’t happy …

When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even. ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Only two things …

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. ~ Albert Einstein

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I hate housework!

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. ~ Joan Rivers

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